My Memories of Grandma and Grandpa Ursaki

As Mike stated in the previous post, we were lucky if we saw Grandma and Grandpa a couple of times a year, since we never lived in Regina.  I remember always feeling very excited when I knew we'd be making a trip to see them and the other Saskatchewan relatives.  Grandpa always was ready for us with cherry and peppermint chicklets gum, candy bars and small bottles of soda pop.  Grandma usually had a batch of  warm, homemade donuts ready for us.  We all got our own little bowl of sugar to dip them in . . . oh, how I loved those doughnuts!  I want one right now!  Grandma said that she preferred to let everyone dip their own doughnuts because not so much sugar got on her kitchen floor . . . she disliked the feeling of sugar crunching under her shoes when she walked across the kitchen floor.

Grandma had a drawer ( if memory serves) where she had some things for us to play with . . . some wooden building blocks, rubber canning rings, etc.  We preferred to entertain ourselves, however, by waiting with a glass of water, under the stairs, and then pouring water (through a knothole in the hardwood floor) on whoever was sitting on the toilet down below!  What a set-up.  That toilet was directly beneath that knothole.  Anyone else remember doing this?  I know it really annoyed Grandma and she tried to plug up the hole with rags, but we'd just unplug it and do it again!  She called us "angels" and "sugarplums" anyway.  The only time I remember Grandma really getting upset at me was when Lois and I pulled out  a bunch of her clean linens (sheets,etc. that she had no doubt ironed) and built a fort.  She was pretty upset because she knew she'd have to rewash and re-iron all of those sheets!  I blame Lois for this unfortunate incident!

The only time I remember catching heck from Grandpa, I was with Lois again (anyone see an emerging pattern here?)  We decided it would be fun to crawl up into the big crabapple tree in the back yard.  When Grandpa saw us he yelled for us to get out of the tree before we broke the branches.  Lois got cheeky with him and said something like "You wouldn't care if we fell out of the tree and broke our necks, would you!?"  Oy.  The truth is, I LOVED playing with Lois and we had a ton of fun together.  

Another of my favourite memories of Grandma and Grandpa's house was the old bathtub downstairs.  I remember my mom filling the tub from two black hoses . . . one of them came straight from the water heater. When we were really little, she'd just throw all three of us . . . Mike, Elaine and me, into the tub at once.  We had a jolly old time soaping our butts and sliding down the sloped back of the tub.  I swear that more water flew out of that tub than stayed in.  Does anyone know what happened to that tub?  

That house at 506 Victoria Ave. always smelled of fresh baking, roast chicken, pipe tobacco and Dove soap.  I loved that smell.  I still think of Grandma and Grandpa when I smell Dove soap.

I seldom saw Grandma sitting down . . . it seemed like she was always busying around cleaning and cooking but I some memory of her watching her "stories" on TV.  Whenever we visited I always got to sleep with Grandma.  I can remember her in her long flannel nightgown with her hair in a long braid down her back and her teeth in a cup beside the bed.    She was always up and dressed in a dress , nylon stockings and an apron before I ever opened my eyes in the morning and I often woke up to the smell of bacon frying and coffee brewing.  Even though I'm not a coffee drinker I still love the smell of brewing coffee to this day.

I remember that Grandpa would give me 50 cents or a dollar and I would walk down to the corner store to buy candy and ice cream treats.  I don't remember the name of the lady who ran the store but she knew I was Henry and Ottilie's granddaughter and she was always so friendly.  

This summer, Mom and Dad and I drove to Vernon and stayed with Lynne (Ursaki) and Brian for a couple of days, as I've mentioned in a previous post. While there, we watched some of their old family slides and I took photos of some of the slides as they were being projected.  Here are a few of them.  I don't know what particular years any of these were taken.

 I particularly love this photo of Grandpa and Grandma with their grown children.  This was a very attractive group of people.  I wonder what Uncle Eddie would have looked like, had he lived to adulthood?

 I think that the other couple in this photo are Grandpa's brother George and his wife.  Can't remember her name. Perhaps, Millie?

 These photos must be of a wedding anniversary, perhaps their fiftieth?  A rare photo where Grandma and Grandpa are holding hands.

Thanks for indulging my little stroll down memory lane.  I'm going to be going through my old photo albums and scanning some photos of Grandma with some of my kids.  Grandpa died very shortly after the birth of my first son in 1978 so I have no photos of him with any of my kids. 'Til next time.  Sandra

As I Remember

As I Remember

My earliest recollections of my grandparents are of a woman who seemed anxious to hold me on her lap and shower me with love, affection and admiration, and a man who always seemed delighted to see me, but gave me a comfortable amount of space. I responded by shying away from grandma and being drawn to grandpa. He did fascinating things (he smoked), so I always stayed close by and kept an eye on him. I never knew him not to have Chicklets in his pocket, which he was always willing to share.

This first memory would have happened at a little house in Sherwood Park sometime in the mid 60’s. I’m sure there were earlier meetings, but that’s the first one I remember. Since we lived just outside of Edmonton and they lived in Regina, we were lucky if we got to see them more that a couple of times in a year. Moving to B.C. in 1968 only increased the distance between us and reduced the frequency of visits. None the less, my memories are sufficient and remain vivid all these decades later.

It is difficult, in my memory, to separate grandma from the kitchen. She spent a disproportionate amount of her life in the kitchen for which we are all grateful beneficiaries. When I consider what came out of her kitchen (which was whatever kitchen she was in at the time), I marvel at the order, organization and cleanliness that she maintained. I, personally, can decimate the room in the act of making a sandwich. The products of her labours will endure in memory as long as I’m allowed to tarry on this earth. I often said of my mother-in-law, “if the angels of heaven could taste her cooking, they would take her home to heaven immediately”. The same could be said of our grandma Ursaki. Hospitality came so naturally to her, that I wouldn’t be surprised to find her in some celestial kitchen cooking to her heart's content to the joy and delight of all of our dearly departed. I hope, that when (or should I say “if”) those angels come to collect me, they’ll bring a plate of her apple strudel. I don’t know if I’d be smart enough to go toward the light, but I know I’d follow that strudel to extremities of God’s creations.

Grandpa was no less useful to have around. I like to believe the streak of handyman in me comes through whatever genetic material he passed down. Don’t get me wrong, he couldn’t hold a candle to grandma when came to tending to domestic necessities, but he was always looking for something to fix, finding it and fixing it with whatever resources were at hand, a budget of $0 and a lot of practical skill and common sense. Grandpa had other useful skills and advice for anyone smart enough to listen. He once taught me how to throw an elbow at a pick pocket. That timely lesson was offered as we were leaving for the exhibition during one of our summer visits to Regina.

When you’re young, you think you’re immortal (which explains extreme sports). The passage of time, that finite commodity of our lives, slowly reminds us that this life was never meant to be permanent. In retrospect, I now understand why, with each successive visit, the time of parting became more difficult. I have, indelibly etched in my mind's eye, the image of grandpa standing beside grandma waving good bye with a pinched smile and tear on his cheek. The last such parting would have been when I was 15 years old. I had spent the summer in Ottawa and a week long stop over in Regina had been arranged. They were loading me onto a jet bound for B.C. I remember that last embrace and I will never forget how bitterly I wept knowing that we might not be together again in this life.

Grandma’s sense of her own mortality was less acute. Not that she was in any way morbid about it, but she always seemed ready and waiting for a chariot of fire to take her home. I wonder if her life’s greatest trial was living to the age of 93.

Never content to idle away her time, she prepared for her day of parting by doing what she did best, working. I do not know any person so willing to live and let live, so uncritical of others, so prepared to put on an apron and pitch in, as was our grandma Ursaki.

I’m not so naïve to think that grandpa and grandma didn’t have some character flaws. I may stand corrected when it comes to grandma though. Maybe the fact that I saw so little of them has something to with my lack of memory when it comes to any faults they may have had, or maybe they were just on their best behavior around me and my young impressionable mind.

Memory is like opinion. It is correct only in that it offers one person’s perspective. The absolute truth lies in the collective perspective. I would love to see my grandparents through your eyes.

- Michael Ursaki

Grandma Ursaki's honey cookies

This post is comprised of a letter and recipe sent by Lois Derges VanDerVelden and a photo posted on facebook (also by Lois).

She sent a scan of a hand written recipe by Grandma Ursaki, which I would have loved to have posted here, but I couldn't get it to post clearly.  I've typed it out as best as I could read it.  Anyone out there have the actual baking time and temperature? 

I LOVE this photo of Lois and Grandma taken in the old kitchen of the home at 506 Victoria Avenue. 

     Lois Derges VanDerVelden with Grandma Otillie Ursaki

I’m sure you remember Grandma’s honey cookies. I have a number of her hand written recipes & came across this one. As I recall she cut these cookies into a couple of different shapes (do you remember what they were?)I tried to adjust it so it was easier to read after scanning. Her script is very distinct & although she was always self-conscious of her ability to read & write it mattered not to me as it was hers from the heart.  Lois

Honey Cookies

3/4 cup butter or marg
1 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup honey
3 1/2 cups bread flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. soda
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. each cinnamon and ginger
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/2 cup buttermilk or sour milk
1/4 cup cold strong coffee

Mix butter and sugar and honey in top of double boiler.  Heat and stir until butter is melted and sugar dissolved.  Let cool.  Sift together dry ingredients and mix with butter mixture, buttermilk and coffee.  Chill for several hours.  Heat oven and roll dough to 1/3 inch thickness. (No specification of cutting shapes, oven temperature or baking time.  I'm sure that for Grandma, this seemed pretty intuitive and not necessary to include!) 
Store (cookies) in cold place for (up to) four weeks. 

Finding Ursaki family connections

The following letter and photo were received, by us, from Lois Derges VanDerVelden (whose mother is the late Helen Ursaki Derges). Thanks so much for this contribution, Lois!  I'm wondering how old Grandpa Henry Ursaki was in this photo? He certainly is handsome.

"Uncle Henry Ursaki and my mother's parents . . . Emma Eliza and Louis Ring"  Judy Ring Anderson

Hi Sandra & Mike, Judy Anderson, is a gal I used to work with (years ago) & is now one of my Facebook friends. I always knew we were distantly related but had forgotten the connection.After posting the pic of Grandma & me, Judy Anderson (Ring) responded & then posted the attached picture. I’m sure there are many other pictures of the Ursaki clan somewhere, I haven’t seen many. Grandpa Henry is rather handsome, wouldn’t you say?  What you have initiated has obviously triggered much interest on my part & others. Cousin Lois xo

A Lovely Metaphor

     Here is a pic of Gayla and me (Al Derges)  in July 2012 about six weeks after the amputation of my right leg. I received my first prosthesis shortly after this picture was taken.
      Just to confuse things, I am standing on one leg. Somewhere, way down the road, someone might say that they thought that old guy was an amputee. You can see that I'm hanging on, pretty tightly, and using my friend, Gayla for support. I love the metaphor that this picture presents as Gayla has been my support, literally, figuratively and emotionally.

Family Recipes . . . Thanks, Eileen!

Eileen Pasker Nicholson (bottom right) with sister-in-law Sue Pasker, cousin Sandra Ursaki Hale and cousin Kathy Ursaki

In response to Al Derges' letter (which is posted below) Eileen sent the following note and two of Grandma Ursaki's recipes.  Thanks Eileen!

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving, dear cousins! 

Plum dumplings are a tradition for our family, too.  We ate the first batch a couple of weeks ago and there’s another batch in the freezer.  I wrote out the Plum Dumpling recipe a few years ago for the friends who give me plums from their trees, so I’m attaching it here in case anyone needs a primer.  We used to roll out the dough like Alan describes, but now my mom and I (and Sue too, right Sue?) just pinch off a piece of the dough and form it around the plum.  Not sure where my mom got that idea but it sure makes the work go more quickly.  Of course if someone had shared the drinking wine idea back then, we wouldn’t have cared how much work it was!!

PLUM DUMPLINGS AND KRAUT PEROGEES

DOUGH:

2 eggs, beaten                                                                       1 ½ cups flour

Scant tablespoon vegetable oil                                         1 teaspoon baking powder

½ cup mashed potato (baking potatoes work best)      1 teaspoon salt

Beat the eggs, oil, and mashed potato.  Combine dry ingredients and add to egg-potato mixture.  Mix all together into soft dough.  Let rest for at least 1 hour. (It’s best not to double this recipe because it seems to change the “chemistry”.  If you need more dough, make two separate batches.)

FOR PLUM DUMPLINGS:

Use Italian prune plums.  Dough recipe makes enough for about 20 plums. Wash plums, and dry each with a tea towel. Set them aside on a plate or tray.  Line a separate tray or baking sheet with waxed paper and lightly flour the paper. Put about ½ cup flour in a small bowl for flouring your fingers as you work.

Pinch off a walnut sized piece of dough, flatten in the palm of your hand, and wrap around the plum, pinching to seal. Flour your fingers frequently as you work.  Don’t worry about getting too much flour on the dumplings, it won’t matter.  Set the wrapped plums on your prepared tray.

FOR KRAUT PEROGEES:

6 slices of bacon                                                  1 cup sauerkraut, drained

1 medium onion, diced                                       1 cup mashed potatoes (about 1 medium potato)

Salt and pepper to taste

Fry bacon until crisp.  Remove from pan and drain on paper towel. Crumble bacon and set aside. (My mom and dad snip the bacon with kitchen shears, before cooking.)

Pour off all but 1 tablespoon of the bacon fat; add the onion and sauté until transparent.  Remove pan from heat and stir in sauerkraut, mashed potatoes, crumbled bacon, and salt and pepper.

Using half of your dough at a time, roll out thinly, and cut into squares.  Put a spoonful of filling on each square of dough; fold over and seal, flouring your fingertips as you work.  Place perogees on a floured, wax-paper lined tray.

TO COOK PLUM DUMPLINGS OR KRAUT PEROGEES:

Bring a large pot of water to boiling.  Don’t crowd - use 2 pots if you are cooking lots of dumplings or perogees.  Add dumplings or perogees gently and boil uncovered until they rise to the top, about 5 to 10 minutes. Be careful not to overcook or they will come apart and become watery.  If frozen, it will take about 20 minutes. 

TO SERVE:

Drain and place in warmed serving bowl.

Top with Buttered Croutons:  Melt ¼ cup margarine and ¼ cup butter over medium heat.  Add a couple of slices of bread, cubed.  Cook, stirring occasionally, until bread is nicely browned. Pour over cooked dumplings or perogees.

For Plum Dumplings:  We like them sprinkled with plain sugar. My dad also likes a little dollop of sour cream on his dumplings.  These may seem like a dessert but in our family, this was our main course – a much anticipated yearly treat during plum season. As kids, we always had contests to see who could eat the most dumplings – you line up the plum pits on the edge of your plate to keep count.  

For Kraut Perogees:  Sometimes I sauté additional onions to top the perogees.  Additional bacon is good too, if you’re feeling really decadent.

Both the plum dumplings and kraut perogees freeze well.  Freeze them individually on the baking tray; then when frozen, put them in a zip-lock freezer bag.  My mom then puts them back on a floured baking sheet to thaw before cooking.

- From Eileen Nicholson and my mom and dad, Alma and Ron Pasker.  We hope you enjoy these recipes.

Happy Thanksgiving/Plum Dumpling Day

The following post is by Al Derges, who's mom is the late Helen Ursaki Derges.  Thanks for the update, Al, and for sharing your Thanksgiving and "Plum Dumpling Day" with us!  We also appreciate the update on your progress with your "new" leg!  

I am having such a great day without pain, second day in a row. I feel like sending out an update about stuff and if you don't mind, I'll just talk for awhile until you get tired of listening or I get tired of writing ...

How was your Thanksgiving weekend?

 We started our weekend, Saturday,  by having Ray and Marissa over for dinner. It was Plum Dumpling day and we have been thinking about this event for awhile. Getting just the right plums took a couple of trips as I brought home some that were just okay and we got better ones. That will teach Gayla for giving me such responsibility for picking great plums! 

  Everyone has traditions and I suppose that we all think that our version of a tradition is special if not unique. The Derges, Ursaki and Dahlman family are the family I know and love and I've come to know more family . Gayla is a Dahlman and my Mom was Helen Ursaki who passed away at the start of this year. Adam married Ashley Teague and with their four children the family extends. It would have been so fun to have them here for the weekend but we, totally, understand that staying home in Spruce Grove is their best place to be. 

 My friend, Jana, who is easily the best Yoga teacher on the planet, couldn't be here this weekend as she was tied up with Yoga training in Edmonton. JanaRosanaDana would have loved to be in our kitchen helping out with the production of Plum Dumplings. My sisters, Lois and Ruth, with Sid and Gary, would have been part of this weekend but they are somewhere in Europe.  We are going to Marissa's folks for dinner on Sunday and then back to our place for Gayla's special turkey dinner with her amazing gravy and stuffing on Monday. 

I'm not sure if I like the tradition of Thanksgiving. I get the whole thing but I don't. It makes me a bit sad that I have to be reminded to say thanks for whatever we say thanks for. I look around and see and feel and touch all the things that I am thankful for and I really don't need a special day or weekend. Maybe I do and maybe I don't. All up, all in, I am so thankful for so much that this note would be so long that you'd stop reading. I tend to make these things longer than I should anyway... in case you haven't noticed.

My current adventure is .. well, ... just that. An Adventure. In the early days, 2008, when it was determined that cancer was part of my life, I learned that it was about to be a journey. I was okay with the vocabulary, that is, "journey". I have learned, since, that "adventure" is a better way to describe what's going on.  I can't ever write clearly enough to describe how my friend, Gayla, took this on and what she has done for me. I have told others the story of how I have become Gayla's science project. If anyone has cancer and looking for help, I'd put Gayla up as first draft choice.   

I don't know if you are current with where I'm at or what I'm doing. There isn't much to report:

 a couple of times a week at Wascana Rehab with Lisa who gives me walking training;

 my personal trainer who pushes me in such a great way, building core strength, working on balance, learning the technique of falling,  doing one leg squats (yikes!), pulling back on this tension band thing, up and down, sideways and every way that sometimes I fart, lifting free weights while holding on to a bench although I tend to tip over kinda' like a cork in water because I only have weight on my left side 

 trying to hit golf balls - sometimes good enough to hit it about 170 yrds and most of the time not falling down as if falling down on grass is a bad thing. I hit 35 balls the other day on the range and set a new record - I didn't fall down once;

 trying to walk with canes.

I don't have any idea, but I might guess,  what brings the thought of THANKS to you or anyone else ... I am thankful for the love that surrounds me every day. When I look around and see what we all have and how we all live, it is pretty clear to me that Thanksgiving weekend is better placed all the time. Every day for that matter.  I am thankful for the vision that I am going to play golf and walk like a regular everyday person, one day soon, and get rid of my crutches and wheelchair. I have moments when I think that the cast will come off and the leg will heal, as if it were broken. And then I come to my senses and realize that it isn't a leg with a cast. It's not a leg anymore.  It just isn't part of me. I'm becoming okay with that.  Learning to walk is easily the hardest thing I have ever tried to do. I CAN do it !! When I can ... when i can ... I can hardly wait to send out the video. 

I had some fun, earlier, with a post to my FaceBook page. It was my attempt at humour and what follows is what I wrote while Marissa and Ray and Gayla were doing to clean up the kitchen. We had a great Plum Dumplings day. 

Here is Gayla & Marissa making Plum Dumplings. This is an old tradition around our house and the first time for Marissa. If just thinking about 3 or 4 thousand calories is against your religion or some other phobia, turn your computer off immediately and go for a run or do 100 sit-ups. Is religion a phobia? Still here? ...ok...you might have made a wild guess that plums are somehow involved but there is more. First of all, make a dough with potatoes and eggs and flour. Throw in a pinch of salt, some baking powder and sugar. Add some milk some where along the way. Then scribble all that together. Get one of those tupperware sheets, sprinkle some flour on the sheet and then open your favourite wine. Roll out the dough on the sheet until you have it about a quarter inch thick which you then cut into strips a bit more than 2" wide. The idea is to get the dough ready to roll around the plums. One at the time. Put the rolled up plums in a big dish and

 when the dish is full, put it in the oven. Oh... I forgot a part. Don't put the rolled plums in the pan yet. Instead, put them in a pot of boiling water and when they float to the top, then .... get them out of there and put the dough rolled plums in the big dish that then goes in the oven. While they are in the oven, you get to drink the wine. In the meanwhile, put about half a brick of butter, maybe more, in one of those pyrex measuring cup things and put that in the oven. When the butter has melted, drink some more wine. Serve the plum dumplings by taking them out of the dish with a big spoon and put 3 or 4 of them on your dinner plate. Cut them up a bit, pour the melted butter over, sprinkle some sugar on top and eat until either you're full or the wine is gone. It's best to have a backup bottle of wine. Tonight, I had 8 of these wonderful treats and so did Razor. Gayla and Marissa had 3 or 4. I'm not actually sure how to make these things but I can tell you that this is one of my favourite dishes of all time. If you really want to know how to make them, I'd suggest that you call Gayla who learned from my Grandma' Ursaki with my Mom watching to make sure that Gayla got it right. We thought about my Mom tonight and had the feeling that she was watching over us with a big smile on her face for keeping a great tradition going. I am thankful that Gayla paid attention. Tomorrow and Monday we have a turkey dinner with all the trimmings. How is your Thanksgiving weekend going? Oh...I forgot another part. When you eat plum dumplings, you set aside the pits so that you know how many you have had. Otherwise, you lose track or swallow the plum pits.